I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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