The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
