i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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