Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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