didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
