the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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