I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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