You work out of a Hotel?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
