I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
