Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
