around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
