4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
