My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
