how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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