Pappa wants mamma naked
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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