the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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