Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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