Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
