did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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