Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
