Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
