? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
