How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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