is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
