You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
