Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
