I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize