i barfeds in our rink
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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