smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
