I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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