....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
