people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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