apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
porn star boner night. come get it.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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