Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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