I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
