Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Randomize
