dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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