my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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