dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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