shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
