in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
