stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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