I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
