OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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