I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
