Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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