Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Randomize