i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
