Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
