You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I want her autograph on my taint
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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