OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
