Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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